Portland: Giant Avocado Wreaks Havoc on Downtown Traffic

Portland: Giant Avocado Wreaks Havoc on Downtown TrafficPortland: Giant Avocado Wreaks Havoc on Downtown Traffic Portland, Oregon was thrown into chaos on Thursday morning when a colossal avocado, estimated to be the size of a small car, suddenly appeared in the heart of downtown. The massive fruit, weighing an astonishing 5,000 pounds, rolled down Southwest 5th Avenue, obliterating traffic lights and smashing parked cars in its wake. Motorists were left stranded and bewildered as the avocado continued its rampage. Witnesses reported that the avocado appeared to possess a strange consciousness, weaving and dodging through traffic with surprising agility. Its smooth, green skin glistened in the sunlight as it left a trail of destruction in its path. “I thought I was dreaming,” exclaimed Sarah Jones, a pedestrian who narrowly avoided being crushed by the avocado. “It was like something out of a science fiction movie.” The Portland Police Bureau scrambled to contain the situation, but their efforts were futile. The avocado simply shrugged off their attempts to stop it, continuing its destructive rampage. “We’ve never encountered anything like this before,” said Lieutenant Mark Baker of the Portland Police Bureau. “It’s an unprecedented event.” As the avocado approached the bustling intersection of Southwest 6th and Morrison Street, chaos reached its peak. Cars piled up into a massive traffic jam, while pedestrians scattered in fear. The avocado seemed to take delight in the mayhem it was causing. Finally, the avocado came to an abrupt stop in front of the Portland Art Museum. It stood there motionless for several minutes, its smooth surface shimmering ominously. Scientists from the University of Oregon have been dispatched to investigate the origin and nature of the giant avocado. They believe it may be a genetic mutation or an extraterrestrial phenomenon. The city of Portland is now facing a massive cleanup operation, with crews working to remove the avocado and repair the damaged infrastructure. The cost of the destruction is expected to be in the millions of dollars. As the sun sets on Portland, the giant avocado remains in its place, a surreal and enigmatic reminder of the chaos it unleashed upon the city. The mystery of its origin and purpose continues to baffle residents and officials alike.