With two young daughters and limited space at home, a mom took to Reddit to ask whether her decision to turn her youngest child’s bedroom into an office and give the girls a shared space was selfish.
“I have two girls, 8 and 2 years old. They are obsessed with each other and both sleep like logs,” she wrote. “I know – I am blessed. My (eldest) said she wanted to share a room with the little one.”
Even though she had basically gotten the green light from her daughter to turn her bedroom into an office, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. “I worked all over the house, depending on availability. I desperately need space for myself.”
One mother worried that keeping her two children in the same room so she could have an office was selfish.
“I feel guilty that I built myself an office that is now my toddler’s room,” she wrote. “So what do you think, parents? Will I regret this in 6 months?”
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Even though she still thinks about it, given the absurd prices of outsourcing office space, her parents in the comments urged her to take a step back.
“It’s reversible. Don’t worry about decisions that can be easily reversed,” wrote one user. Many people also advised her to consider how learning to share space and celebrate closeness with family could help sisters secure their bond in adulthood.
Even though she knew her two daughters were “obsessed” with each other, their mother felt guilty for even considering taking over one of their rooms.
Although there may be some friction as the girls adjust to their new circumstances, most agreed that their mother had thought through the move.
One commentator put it simply: “There’s nothing selfish about it at all. We have created this ‘need’ for indecent living space… when the preschool years come, this will be a future obstacle to unravel.”
Letting your children share your space shouldn’t be a guilt-driven choice, but rather a luxury. Parents should celebrate by giving their children the opportunity to bond and develop relationships when they are young. Whether you have space or not, siblings sharing a room is not a good parenting decision compared to a bad parenting decision.
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“Even as adults, we don’t have our own rooms – we share them with our spouse. There are several children in one room all over the world,” wrote another person, appreciating the benefits of sharing space.
“Only here we have this strange idea that every child needs their own individual, aesthetic bedroom… Talk about ego building.”
Siblings sharing a bedroom is not only common, but in many cases healthy for children.
It’s understandable that teenagers may not like the idea of sharing a bedroom, but especially with younger siblings, sharing a room can often be a healthy way to teach them necessary skills. From social awareness to problem-solving and bonding, not only is it convenient for parents, but sharing space also has an impact on children.
Especially in the case of this Reddit mom’s daughters, who are just 8 and 2, commenters assured her that there would likely be little to no conflict – aside from some arguments and the occasional complaint. “It probably won’t last forever,” one wrote, “but try it while they’re still young… It’s healthy for them.”
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More than 70% of U.S. families report that two or more children share a bedroom, although most would give their children their own space if they had the freedom. Despite the desire for more space, there are more benefits to sharing – from the above social effects, to developing relationships, to improving sleep time.
Children sharing bedrooms sleep 30 minutes more than children in separate rooms – on average about 3.5 hours more per week.
So not only can you rest easy knowing your kids are bonding and sleeping a little more, but you can use the extra space in your home for things that will make everyone feel better.
For this woman, that means creating a home office that will allow her to set a clear boundary between work and private life, which will certainly provide balance to the entire family dynamic.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on health and wellbeing, social policy and human interest stories
